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Menopause healing: the lunar eclipse of July 2018

Menopause healing?  Is that a contradiction in terms?  My experience was that the long and often dark, peri menopausal passage was a whopping  great opportunity for healing. I was partially aware of it at the time, even as  I writhed, sobbed and fretted against the changes. With the support of healing  modalities, including Yoga and Transference Healing®, and my own insatiable curiosity and stubborn refusal to follow a herd, revelations about this time of menopause healing unfolded for me.

menopause healing

I deeply believe that women are offered an exceptional opportunity to ‘heal’ at this mid-life gateway. Now don’t get me wrong. This is not a comment that means we are somehow tragically flawed beforehand, or that without menopause we wouldn’t ‘heal’ (by which I really mean ‘grow’). What I mean is that we can use the external signs of menopause to guide us into an easier, more graceful and expanded way of  living. I can’t speak to the male experience – it’s hormonally different anyway –  but all of us, male and female, do experience our Chiron return somewhere between the ages of 48 – 52.  This  is part of  the ‘rocket fuel’ we can either use to change us, or to burn us out.


The “universe” has a way of pushing us forward and at the time of writing, July 2018, I’m aware of an exceptionally powerful eclipse on the horizon. The reason I feel so strongly to write about it is that it impacts us right in the ego – (some more so than others). We need an ego. We need to know who we are, where healthy boundaries lie and what our preferences are. We just do not need an ego that runs our show. When I look with my psychic awareness, I actually see the energy system of the ego getting very entangled in the Solar Plexus chakra in some individuals.  I apologise if I am speaking Yoga /Woo now and it’s not your language,  but the essence of this is what matters.

Consider your Solar Plexus chakra,menopause healing (number 3 in this diagram). It can act  both as a power house – one that can get too big for its boots, or it can become weak and washy. When balanced it is capable of generating confidence and healthy personal will. It is also a gateway. When the Solar Plexus chakra is balanced, the passageway to the heart is easier to access. However, in that passageway is a still smaller gateway. This is your Chiron point. When you are ready to take the walk (as I call it, the ‘walk of faith and fire’) the key will be given to you – or set of keys – to unlock the heart technology and live ‘different’.


I realise that not to mention Kundalini is an omission in some eyes, but I’d rather do that in a separate post. For now, just be aware that the upcoming Eclipse on 27 July 2018 will be a massive opportunity to do some spiritual housework, by refining your ego and purify intention, thought and action. All you need to do is be willing and be watchful. No complex rituals are needed (though feel free if this is your way) but leave your heart to lead and listen carefully to what your mind is creating. Menopause healing requires us to listen to ourselves, deeply.


I really recommend www.Astrobutterfly.com. for her skill and insights. I rate this information very highly and I hope you get some real gems from it – and from the dark night on 27 July!


With love


menopause healing,

Menopause mentor Debs de Vries

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Menopause and sleep – or lack of it!

Menopause and sleep – or in reality, menopause and  not sleep.

Disturbed, sweaty nights that are often more like a nightmare than a dream. Not only does it make day life tough – it can bring a sense of tension ahead of bedtime. “How many hours will I get tonight before I wake in a pool of sweat?”. It pays to take steps to design a sleep ‘routine’ that works for you as best you can.


I also believe that disturbed sleep is a sign of our subconscious being over active. Night time should be a time when the whole physical/emotional body system settles and the psyche opens to receive new information, or clear old and unwanted patterns. Sometimes this is in the form of dreams, or we just wake with a new understanding around something. Keeping a journal of the times when you wake and what – if you remember it – you found yourself thinking (all those things buzzing around in your head) may not get you more sleep initially, but it may calm things down and help you to see what is on your mind that you can’t ‘see’ in the daytime.

Lubrication for vaginal dryness in perimenopause.

Lubrication for vaginal dryness in  perimenopause is an often over-looked topic. In all the  hoo-har about sweats, and mood swings, exhaustion and weight gain, it’s easy to imagine that sex is possibly one of the last things on your mind. It may not be on your mind at all. I understand. You are tired, for goodness sake and you sweat enough. Thank you.


As I mused about this blog post I asked myself (quite a few times) what women really, really want. I mean, beyond relief from the bodily upsets. Maybe it’s just me and I will blush for ever more in public, but I wanted, still want, and wanted  back then Really Good Sex. And inner peace of course along with radiant health. I did not want lubrication for vaginal dryness to be a topic in my life, ever.


Sexual contact can be affirming, delicious, relaxing and just plain calming. And as for orgasm, well that is a goldfield of health benefits in and of itself. I found this post which has an awe-inspiring list of orgasmic  benefits (whilst lacking in some grammatical correctness and also having a dodgy sub-heading at number 3: maybe they mean by ‘builds social life’ – ‘connection with partner/s?)


menopause sex

Vaginal dryness is often one of the those horrid consequences of changes in hormonal levels that prevents a woman from fully enjoying intercourse and I will recommend a lubricant that I know to be safe and effective. Lubrication for vaginal dryness is not something to feel bad about – as though you’ve somehow become a bit ‘broken’. Remember it is a natural, if unpleasant, effect of hormonal changes and it’s in your power to make things easier on yourself.

And also remember:


a) Intercourse is far from the only way of experiencing sexual pleasure.

b) Not every woman has a sexual partner, or a partner who is capable and willing to have intercourse.


So my recommendations, which are tailored to each individual, are to expand your erotic horizons, get creative and play – play with ideas that may have lain dormant or hidden. Write or read erotica (and I did both so I am not preaching without the practice): experiment with touch in all areas of the body (orgasm does really happen in the brain first) and perhaps be bold and find a course or a workbook that involves love making (solo or not) where intercourse is not the primary means of connecting.



That lubricant that I recommend is organic, water-based and  called ‘Yes’  (free samples available on request)


One of my clients now has it on prescription (in the U.K.) and it’s working  really well for her. Remember too, that the skin of the vagina often thins, so even when using a great lubricant – stay in charge of how deeply or how powerfully you want to be penetrated. It’s your body and your choice and a surprising amount of women will and do suffer pain in order that their partner gets pleasure. Fact is – if you are in pain, it isn’t going to be an experience that really serves either of you and your access to this pleasure-giving, life enhancing act, is limited. This is Not a Good Thing so – if you’ve enjoyed sex before peri menopause, don’t give up now. Adapt. You never know what fun and new delights you might discover. And honestly, it will take your mind off things for a while!