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Menopause and sleep – or lack of it!

Menopause and sleep – or in reality, menopause and  not sleep.

Disturbed, sweaty nights that are often more like a nightmare than a dream. Not only does it make day life tough – it can bring a sense of tension ahead of bedtime. “How many hours will I get tonight before I wake in a pool of sweat?”. It pays to take steps to design a sleep ‘routine’ that works for you as best you can.


I also believe that disturbed sleep is a sign of our subconscious being over active. Night time should be a time when the whole physical/emotional body system settles and the psyche opens to receive new information, or clear old and unwanted patterns. Sometimes this is in the form of dreams, or we just wake with a new understanding around something. Keeping a journal of the times when you wake and what – if you remember it – you found yourself thinking (all those things buzzing around in your head) may not get you more sleep initially, but it may calm things down and help you to see what is on your mind that you can’t ‘see’ in the daytime.

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Symptoms of perimenopause. Symptoms or signals?

menopause symptoms, perimenopause symptoms,

What really are the symptoms of perimenopause? Well, that’s what a lot of people (mostly, but not exclusively women, want to know).

I’ve written about symptoms, It’s a long list of  the same set of physical inconveniences, horrors and menaces as most menopause helpers/teachers/healers would write.  Also I have  added a few important ones, that I think are missing from many lists – emotional symptoms.

Then today, I just asked myself – why exactly do we use the word “symptom”? Is this the correct term? Is it helpful to talk about peri menopause symptoms at all?  And, OK, I caved. I asked the Big G.  I googled. It says: –

  1. a physical or mental feature which is regarded as indicating a condition of disease, particularly such a feature that is apparent to the patient.
    “dental problems may be a symptom of other illness”
    synonyms: manifestationindicationindicatorsignmarkfeaturetrait;

    “he described the symptoms of the disease”
    • an indication of the existence of something, especially of an undesirable situation.
      “the government was plagued by leaks—a symptom of divisions and poor morale”
      synonyms: expressionsignindicationmarktokenmanifestationMore


    So, we have here: “… indicating a condition of disease,…” and “an undesirable situation”.

    Now, call me picky and call me mean, but I do not believe perimenopause is a disease or illness, and neither do I believe it is an undesirable situation. To overlay a natural (if highly inconvenient and sometimes, debilitating) passage in a life, with medical terminology, is to stuff perimenopause tightly into a box filled with ailments, diseases and illnesses that, medical science hopes, can be cured. And in that box, by default, women become ‘patients’ and expect a cure.

    You don’t need a cure for perimenopause. You need support. You need systems, understanding, knowledge and applied wisdom. Because for a % of women (mostly in the Western ‘world’) all of these new  pieces of information form a bridge: they become a foundational part of your continued growth and potential expansion into someone even more amazing, true and representative of your unique self.

    Let me add another layer to this:

For “you need systems” read “you need to learn how to run your daily life so  you are not exhausted, dragged down or just plain bored.

You need help, joy, rest, nourishment, sensuality, inspiration –  and more rest.  These ‘resourcers’  should be part of your every day (given the inevitable days when you REALLY can’t…)  – and you have to systematically choose what will support you.

You need a system of daily energy management that does more than feed and exercise your body and mind. In fact, you need the  shamanic/Yogic understanding of yourself as a much broader ‘being’ with subtler layers of energy,  so that you can effectively housekeep these ‘invisible’ layers. This is one of the big ‘secrets’ of life, let alone perimenopause.


You feel cynicism or doubt about this? Ever spent an hour with an ‘energy vampire’? Or watched a movie or piece of news that made you feel awful? Or thought thoughts that kept you awake half of the night? You – I – we – are constantly responding to our environment. And our environment is huge, messy, deep and also more under our control than we imagine.

The truth is, this ‘stuff’ is better felt and experienced than written about.  For one thing, for it to be effective it must be embodied – become a part of you. I am devoted – and I do mean devoted – to showing women how this can be done. I know that  you can learn a lot in a long weekend. Certainly enough to do your own ‘energy housework’. The benefit of this work is that you get to keep more precious fizz for yourself and that energy can go into – well – almost anything you choose – but initially, into getting your physically balanced and operational again is a great place to start.

And here is what I consider to be the BEST way to get this stuff covered and reclaim your self.  Join me for a special one-of-a-kind event and learn the true wisdom of menopause, discover the tools to lift yourself out of the tough spots and the hidden technology that is actually running the whole show. Maybe your symptoms of perimenopause are a little voice yelling loudly that there is more to this!  Trust me, this stuff WORKS!


perimenopause symptoms, menopause symptoms, menopause help,

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Menopause, insomnia and – really, who wants to be sleepless in Seattle?

Menopause insomnia is a well documented and debilitating menace.  Whilst waking up every couple of hours if you have a  baby to feed for instance, or a new puppy to cuddle, has a clear purpose to it, waking up randomly; sticky, sweating and tense, seems to have no ‘point’ to it at all. (On a positive note, it is worth recalling previous episodes of enforced insomnia that might give you heart). You. Will. Get. Through.This.)


Well, maybe it does have a point. Just free your thinking up enough to include this idea. Maybe the point is that this passage, this transition, is all about you. Yep. Just you. Not your elders, your offspring or your beloved pets. Just you. And although insomnia, or any wakefulness of this kind is something that needs to diminish and even disappear, I do believe that your body and psyche are super busy and at their most – communicative – during these times.

insomnia, menopause, anxiety, money worries,

Not only do I believe this, I also know it is also the movement of ‘kundalini‘ energy, disturbing your sleep. It is also the unfinished business, unexpressed emotions and general ‘first half of life’ debris that is causing restlessness. There are other physiological reasons that must not be ignored. I am not one of those spiritual teachers who turn their nose up at what the body needs. If your body is already out of whack, then deal with that – and also deal with any ‘inner’ business.


In addition to my video on how to improve the quality of your sleep,(watch it below) I suggest you keep a journal/piece of paper (preferably, NOT your mobile phone) by your bed. And a pen, of course! Just before sleep jot down any and all the things that are on your mind. Don’t stress over grammar, editing or politeness – get it all out. And if you feel that the words may offend someone, just make sure they don’t see them.

During the night, or in the morning, write down  your dreams, let all that is buzzing around your head out into the world, because, like Pandora’s Box, once the buzzing is out, there is a spark of Hope.


You may or may not see or gradually become aware of, patterns in your thoughts, or unfinished business that you would do well to attend to. But don’t get into a menopausal tizz about doing this as a ‘piece of work’. If you have done the spade work, writing stuff down, making your thoughts physical and anything else that comes, is a bonus.



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Signs of menopause: physical and emotional changes that rock your world!

menopause signs,There are hundreds, if not thousands, of lists  available across the internet, about the  physical signs of menopause. What doesn’t seem to be included often enough, are the less obvious, (but very impactful)  emotional signs of menopause. These stirred emotions, are often the  first rumblings that something – (you) – is changing. Emotional change may even arise with or without the ‘classic’ perimenopause (“peri” meaning “around” menopause) physical symptoms.

It’s really  surprising just how ‘early’ perimenopause starts. As estrogen levels begin to fall – generally given as around 44 years of age – perimenopause begins – albeit, slowly. Amongst emotions that may be stirred up,  I’ve noticed the following:

Broodiness – yes, the unexpected longing for a late baby, or even a first baby, can present itself and it’s not always ‘logical’. But then, emotion isn’t logical. And perhaps Nature has a way of having her voice heard as the fertility levels fall and chances of pregnancy do too.

Wistfulness/random tears A sense of wondering “what if….” – (“I’d done that course/married that guy/had a different upbringing”) can permeate your psyche, and even replay in dreams.

Doubt as to current and/or past  choices may be an offshoot of wistfulness . Doubt can create a sense of worry, concern or restlessness and dissatisfaction about who you have become, and the relationships, career choices and family dynamics that are playing out.

Withdrawal. According to Yogic Tantric wisdom, the Mahadeva (Great or presiding oversoul) of this passage in a woman’s life, is Bagalamhukh. She – or her energy field – causes us women to want to withdraw so that we can reflect, reassess and regenerate and come back to the world, post menopause, having left behind what no longer serves us. In the run up to this, a woman may well journey into her ‘past’.

natural menopause, menopause signs,

Anger and tension. It’s not unusual for a woman to feel more angry and tense at this time. Physically, she may be tired or adrenally exhausted, especially if she is a primary carer and has a career too. She may find that what she could normally do easily ,is now draining her.

Anger may arise from feeling overwhelmed and/or under appreciated.  This can cause mass upset across the board, because whereas once, she may have just ‘got on with it’, now,  in the ‘perimenopause pressure cooker’ of unexplained and disturbing feelings (combined with  physical fatigue), anger may volcanically erupt.  When it does, it can really rock the embedded expectations of others around her.

Anger may also emerge as a (not always very graceful)  boundary defence mechanism. It may be the  knee-jerk response to others,  because boundaries/behaviours that may  have been poorly set in the past, now need a radical overhaul. And anger may just be from on overwhelming desire to be heard and seen: in reality, the need for reassurance. Because one thing is for sure, when the foundations of your being rock,  reassurance is massively valuable.

menopause signs, support,

Support systems and structures are even more important now than ever. Extreme behaviour can lead to extreme consequences. So, if you want to avoid burn out, relationship melt down and potentially loss (to name the most common perimenopause breakdowns) please find people who will truly listen to you. Find people who can guide without judgement, can keep a confidence – for ever – and will be able to reflect back to you what’s valuable, what’s just a trip into the past and what you need to do to keep your sense of self.


Oftentimes, physical exhaustion (underpinned in many cases, by adrenal fatigue) makes the emotional symptoms worse. I believe however that it is important – maybe vital – to have an emotional ‘spring clean’ right now, to become more fluent and honest with  your needs and feelings, and to put the past ‘to bed’ The astrological impulses of this time of your life are there to support just that, and I will blog about the Uranian upsurge that is impacting you between the ages of 38 – 44 in future. Meanwhile, the three key things to focus on are: –


  1. Remove as much stress as possible from your life, including dietary stressors, too  many late nights, over exercising, overuse of electronic devices, addictions, noise and toxic relationship. I know. That is a big list. Aim to reduce one thing at a time. Honestly, every little does help!
  2. When you need to withdraw then let others know that it’s about you, not them. Time out – an hour, a day – a retreat – with a journal, or simply a place to walk undisturbed, makes ‘space’ for old emotions to surface.
  3. Let the past go with gratitude and ritual. Someone said to me this week that he had boxes and boxes of old photographs. He’s about to move house and really doesn’t want to take them with him but equally couldn’t  bear to just ‘dump them in the garbage’. “So make a ceremony” I said. “Let them go with love and your thanks”. I suggested he  take a few quiet moments, set up a (safe) fire in the garden (an old wok can serve as a fire bucket) or the fireplace (if you have one) and just think on all the joy, happiness, friendship – whatever – these photos recall. Once you have that sense in your heart of being connected – then let it go. And say ‘thank you” – cry, rage, yell, laugh.. whatever you need to do.


Remember, this too WILL pass – and with the coming of your “Second Spring” you’ll emerge, like Persephone, triumphant with the seeds of another new you safely embedded in your psyche!

menopause signs,