Lubrication for vaginal dryness in perimenopause.

Lubrication for vaginal dryness in  perimenopause is an often over-looked topic. In all the  hoo-har about sweats, and mood swings, exhaustion and weight gain, it’s easy to imagine that sex is possibly one of the last things on your mind. It may not be on your mind at all. I understand. You are tired, for goodness sake and you sweat enough. Thank you.


As I mused about this blog post I asked myself (quite a few times) what women really, really want. I mean, beyond relief from the bodily upsets. Maybe it’s just me and I will blush for ever more in public, but I wanted, still want, and wanted  back then Really Good Sex. And inner peace of course along with radiant health. I did not want lubrication for vaginal dryness to be a topic in my life, ever.


Sexual contact can be affirming, delicious, relaxing and just plain calming. And as for orgasm, well that is a goldfield of health benefits in and of itself. I found this post which has an awe-inspiring list of orgasmic  benefits (whilst lacking in some grammatical correctness and also having a dodgy sub-heading at number 3: maybe they mean by ‘builds social life’ – ‘connection with partner/s?)


menopause sex

Vaginal dryness is often one of the those horrid consequences of changes in hormonal levels that prevents a woman from fully enjoying intercourse and I will recommend a lubricant that I know to be safe and effective. Lubrication for vaginal dryness is not something to feel bad about – as though you’ve somehow become a bit ‘broken’. Remember it is a natural, if unpleasant, effect of hormonal changes and it’s in your power to make things easier on yourself.

And also remember:


a) Intercourse is far from the only way of experiencing sexual pleasure.

b) Not every woman has a sexual partner, or a partner who is capable and willing to have intercourse.


So my recommendations, which are tailored to each individual, are to expand your erotic horizons, get creative and play – play with ideas that may have lain dormant or hidden. Write or read erotica (and I did both so I am not preaching without the practice): experiment with touch in all areas of the body (orgasm does really happen in the brain first) and perhaps be bold and find a course or a workbook that involves love making (solo or not) where intercourse is not the primary means of connecting.



That lubricant that I recommend is organic, water-based and  called ‘Yes’  (free samples available on request)


One of my clients now has it on prescription (in the U.K.) and it’s working  really well for her. Remember too, that the skin of the vagina often thins, so even when using a great lubricant – stay in charge of how deeply or how powerfully you want to be penetrated. It’s your body and your choice and a surprising amount of women will and do suffer pain in order that their partner gets pleasure. Fact is – if you are in pain, it isn’t going to be an experience that really serves either of you and your access to this pleasure-giving, life enhancing act, is limited. This is Not a Good Thing so – if you’ve enjoyed sex before peri menopause, don’t give up now. Adapt. You never know what fun and new delights you might discover. And honestly, it will take your mind off things for a while!